I Think I May Be Sappy

I seriously crave like, romance stories, cute, fluffy, steamy, whatever. Any sort of intense emotion with a happy ending, well, I love it.
And I never thought of myself as sappy or romantic, but now that I think about it... I am.
I want deep red velvet roses on valentines day, I want proclamations of love, I want to be serenaded under the stars. I want a storybook romance, which is so, so, so odd. I always considered myself less than averagely girly, and slightly low matinence. But now that I'm starting to understand myself a bit more...
It's not what I expected, but whatever. I can be chill with this.
Now, to go off and read romantic fanfiction :)
-sigh- :)

:) Good Day

Well, it's not really that great of a day. I mean, I'm hiding in the library, skipping my tutorial for the class in which I will officially be missing 2 assignments from in about, oh, 28 minutes.
And I'm going to be hiding for the next... 3 and a half hours. 4 total, I just have already spent a half hour checking my e-mail and other similar types.
But, it's a good day because every single day, I seem to be happier, stronger, and much more cheerful. So, today is much better than yesterday, which was better than the day before, and so forth. Tomorrow, well that will be great. Day after? Wonderful. After that? It's just going to get better and better.
I mean, there's always going to be shitty days where it rains and you get mud up your pants, and they're out of coffee at the caf, and you walk into class without any pencils, to a pop quiz. But even a day like that will be better than the dark days. Because inner happiness is something that doesn't diminish easily. It's like, there's this glowy white ball of happy buried deep in your chest. And although the outside stuff may be awful, the happy can still burn bright. And the opposite is true. If there's a dark cloud where the happy should be, even the most perfect of days, (you know the type, where your clothes are all clean and hanging up, and your bedroom is warm when you get up, and you can just smell the pancakes cooking downstairs, and your phone is blinking with a text message from the guy of your dreams, and the radio turns on, to your favorite song, and you just know that this will be an amazing day) but it's tainted, and you can't enjoy it properly.
And it's like, my stormy cloud is gone, it's been gone for a while. But only in the last little while has the happiness come back.
And it feels good. Like there's this special part of my heart that's just there to love life and myself.
I'm not sure if everyone feels this way, but it's nice for the time being :)

<3

don't gamble with your life

or your head.

or your heart.

Because, when you leave it up to chance, the chances of being destroyed beyond repair are far too high. They should be around 0.0054%, not half and half.

But I'm happy. I'm really happy. Really really happy. Don't worry.
It's just the whole, leaving-it-up-to-chance thing.
I just need to learn how to get in control of my own life, head and heart.
Then I'll be good, and happy, and worry free.

Terrible news

I'm sorry guys. I would have told you before, but I was shamed.

I..

I have jaundice!




I'm glorious today.

So, sure it's snowing like crazy outside, and I'm at school, with a dead cellphone and possibly no way to get home. And maybe I attempted to ask someone something, and I need my cellphone to see their response, and I have to wait until 2 o'clock before I can find their answer. And maybe I look like an elf today, as I'm super pale from the cold, and my dark hair is all pulled back, and my pencil pointy chin is super prominent, and my lips are like, pink red, and my eyes are rimmed with red too, from not sleeping. I look like a druggy-elf-rabbit.
Anyways, I was going to say that even all these things are messing up my general happiness today, I still am happy because... Well, can't you tell?
My blog. It's GLORIOUS. It's god-like. Amazing.
Blue did it for me. And for those of you not in the know, Blue is Kate. As she has red hair. Duh.
And also, I have a peanut butter sandwich in my bag. And even though it's SO FREAKING COLD OUTSIDE, I'm going to buy myself a milkshake from the White Spot, and drink it in my Arch lecture. Mwhaha.
And my superhero name is now...

The Bouncing Emo.
According to the loons I call my friends:
" No, it's great
YOu can like, bounce... and shoot emo-death rays that turn people into wilting roses and other assorted emo objects
And, you are deadly accurate with razzzzors
Like, whipping them at things
Wachaaa"

Doesn't sound very cool :D

But I'm not cool anyways :)

And also, I have a mad love for Andy Warhol. And I'm listening to She & Him over and over. And I'm going to make a comic book with Kate and Maggie. It will be splendid.

This blog post is on crack. And now they're debating my gender. Not cool guys.

I can totally take Vegetarian Entrees and Writing For Young Adults. Then I would be happier than even a clam.

mm

Ooooooh, the have sugarcraft.

I LOVE SUGARCRAFT.

Pic of sugarcraft flowers:


Tots epic, no?

MOUSSE CAKES?!?!?!

oh, sweetums

So, here I am, at school. Again. GOSH, WHY AM I HERE? This place sucks so much, I can't wait to escape.
Sigh. Mother. Father. Trying to remember why I haven't dropped out before today. But I'm dropping out. According to my parents, I still have to go to class for the remainder of the semester though.
And next year, who knows. I was looking at a culinary institute, which would be over $40,000 for two years, money that I really do not have. So, I'm looking at my other options. A local college has baking and pastry arts, my absolute love. But it would mean for me to quit my job, which I love, in order to work for something applicable. Pizza doesn't count as pastry, sadly.
And the college also has an extensive creative writing program, which would make my life very much complete.

Oh, this is so hard.

I'll just have to talk to my parents about that.

Seriously, I could take a course called "Advanced Puff Doughs". I have no idea what that means, but it's epic. Or one titled "Appetizers and Hor d'oeuvers"
Can you imagine taking something called "Cake Decorating 101"?! It's like, heaven.

"Egg and Breakfast Making"?!?! Okay, well I wouldn't take that, because I don't like eggs. Wait. Unless they teach you how to make waffles. Then, maybe.

Okay, must stop rambling about this.

"Easter Breads"?! I don't know what an easter bread is, but it sounds fab! I will make you all easter bread, and sew little bonnets for them. It'll be like my homemade CD cases, entirely epic.

Haha. I'm not cool.

"Glorious Pies And Tarts"?!?!?!

No ways.

Okay, I'll be quiet now.

EIGHTY ONE AND ITS COOL

So, I'm procrastinating. "What else is new?" Nothing, really. "That was sacrastic. It means you always procrastinate." Oh. "Yeah." vgdsiYFGlhresa
That was cool. Really cool.
MIDTERM IN TEE MINUS 57 MINUTES. And I have yet to study. "Oh, you."
Hahaha. I entertain myself. Which is good, because I don't entertain anyone else. And I had french vanilla coffee today, but it was bad. Watered down and sadmaking. I like my coffees thick and flavorful, and super sweet :) Mmm. I mounted my guitar on the wall. Which looks cool, but now I don't play it as often, because it's out of the way, really. Beside my bed. I stroke it before I go to sleep though. And then the sound of the strings echoes around my room for a few seconds, before fading away. It's like the music box I used to play before I went to bed every night in grade 12. Except less geeky and doesn't go all tinny and bizarre at the end.
I'm so excited for the spring and summer, and this warmth in the air, it feels like possibility. When I go home today, I will be so free. My mom and I are going to go to a garden centre, and get seeds and plan out the garden this year. I told her I want to have a small section for herbs, like thyme, lemon grass, mint, and I want a window tray for my room, where I can grow lavender and maybe a few small window sill pots for crocuses. They're my favorite flower, you know. Bizarre flower to be a favorite, because they don't come in bouquets. If you don't know what a crocus is, I shall give you a picture, seeing as they are lovely.
Yes, gorgeous things :) Alas, now I mist flip through my textbook quickly, and try to soak it all in. And classical music is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Today, is a lovely day. The test is but a small mundane blip in the gorgeous weather, the possibilities. I'm going to go for a hike, or dance, or read Sense and Sensibility again, one of my favorite books. I should go through my literature section of my bookshelf, I've got at least 25 novels there, only half of them read. Today is not exactly a Dracula day, even though that's next on my reading list. Maybe I'll read Emma instead.

Ihavecoffeeandallisrightwiththeworld

I haven't had coffee in two freaking weeks.

TWO WEEKS.

and I was all melancholy and sad, and was like "the world hatessss me".

And I fell asleep at like, 8pm, and woke up at 7am and was grumpy and sad and life was uneventful and dreary.

But then... I found this amazing mix in my special cupboard, called ... Hazelnut. And because I'm just sticking my toe into the ocean, not diving in, I mixed it with chocolate, and whipped it and it's the best thing I've ever tasted.

And I put it in my Daddy's big ass cup, which is the size of three cups, and I'm sipping on it and the happiness is flooding me all the way to my toes.

It's probably the closest thing to an orgasm I've ever had.

Mmmm. So good. I can hardly pay attention to my stupid essay, which isn't as stressful as it was 2 minutes ago.

I think I'm addicted, and that makes me so sad, but not as sad as it would 2.3 minutes ago!

Everythings nicer while caffinated.

Soooo much nicer.

:D

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