The little things you have to type in to post a comment disturb me.
I had one that said "Catskin" and it made me sad.

Then the one after it was "burpa"

Like, wtf.

WHY ARE THEY SO SCREWED UP?!

Anyways.







(I texted him)

Life's been fine.

(he hasn't responded)

I'm leaving tomorrow.

(I don't know why)

I'm looking forward to it, I guess.

(Did his phone die?)

Not for the long drive with my daddy and grandma and Pete, because they're all insane.

(Does he hate me?)

At least I'll have ritz crackers with cheese thanks to ZeReHeaWo =)

(I don't understand)

And cranberry juice, all to myself.

(I don't know what to do)

And A's commencement should be shorter than ours!

(Try again?)

But just as much fun afterwards, I hope.

(Give up?)

And I'll be back in time for TMB.

(Be patient?)

Which will be AMAZING.

(I'm just waiting)

We still haven't figured out where to have it though.

(I stopped checking my phone every minute)

My house will be less awkward for Kim

(I feel really upset about this)

But N's house is part of our rituals.

(I'm waiting)

And it won't be too awkward, probably.

(Just waiting)




You choose, people.

(Tell me what to do)

N's house or mine?

(I don't know what to do)

My Experiment


I've been alone a lot recently. And even when I'm with people, I'm not really there. Family and their friends move around like water, but I'm vinyl. Impervious.

And I miss you guys. But I don't feel lonely, as I wander by myself. I have you in my heart, and take you with me everywhere I go.

I forgot I was alone today, as I wandered through the mall for a couple hours, and then bussed to library, and walked back. I was out of the house from 10:30 to 4:00, and I never felt truly alone once.


I miss him a lot too. It's not a very pleasant place in my mind right now.
I'm worried about whether this will get better or worse after Sunday.

I also thought about taking anti-depressants.

We'll see what happens to my mental state of mind after Sunday. If it gets worse, I might ask.




Oh, to be in grade 12 again.

Life was more complicated, more tedious, more depressing, and more fast-paced.

The days were like hours.

Now they're like a lifespan. Each day to be born, then to die. To grow up, and mature. To experience childish delight newly every day.


They drag on with their beautiful boredom, the boredom itself throwing rainbows like crystals, illuminating the dark, and filling my day with a melancholy tranquil.

It is nearly midnight, and my bones are filling with liquid. My hands are bronzed and wrinkled from the light of the computer screen, and I can feel my joints aching.

I am headed into the shower, then off to die again.

Tomorrows life will be less eventful, I hope.

I need to calm myself.

Prepare for Sunday.



Because, what happens then decides my fate.

No joke.

Life is officially... over?








High school.


Is over.


Forever.


I think I might die.


I've gathered the important things.


Friends.


Experiences.


An adventure or two.


A new way of living.


Realizations of the past.




I feel clearer now.


Maybe not better

but clean, different.




New.



We'll see how long this feeling of rebirth lasts.



And zomg. Love him times a million.




I can't fathom sleeping.

It's not late enough to sleep yet, but I just can't think about getting ready for bed at all, not even at the moment.

Rest escapes my wide open eyes.

My mind's not working.

I need today to end, but still more to do.

Highonlife? Or just sad.


I'm feeling insane.

Lets get married.

Chapters Fail

I went to Chapters yesterday, and epic failed.
I mean, I had a WILL OF STEEL. But it rusted.

I was going to go in, get Alice In Wonderland, then leave, without being seduced into buying more books.

ALAS.

I found "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland" and was mega happy, as it came with "Through The Looking Glass". Then I was wandering around, and found a whole section of books for vegetarian cooking.

And I was like "Veritable vegetables Batman! I need me some recipes!"

Then I found the "Color of Magic", and my pants melted off in my mad dash to grab the ONLY copy off the shelf.

And THEN (I know, I have no will power),  I found the sale table!

I found a "How to Read a Novel" book, and popped a book on good karma on my pile for good measure. I mean, 5 bucks for a book on karma? What a steal!

I almost bought a book on baby names, and another on how to be relaxed. But I went internal barbarian, and forced myself to stop.

Life is exciting.

I'm so interesting.

I made hashbrowns from the recipe book, I attempted to read the Karma book, but it was making me sad, I've read half of the "Color Of Magic", and I haven't even taken the other two out of the bag.

Epic.

Fail.

Little Spazz

Hmm. Going to work?


I wonder if this will actually work.

If it does, I'll probably delete it.

But wouldn't it be fun to have random video blogs too? I would love to see your guys' pretty faces when we're all separated :)




And I'm sorry that I'm such a freak. Most screwed up video.




Tell me how it worked on the comments!
If it takes forever to load, or something, I'd love to know so I don't do it often slash at all.


Love you all!

TERRAZEHSUPREME.

gosh, i fail

NEW CHARACTERR:
A bulimic girll !!

Alas, she is stolen, by Maggie.

But don't forget her!

Oops.

I forgot :)

There is one scene, set at sunrise, where everyone is needed.
I'll need you guys at like, 4:30 am, because the sun rises early in the summer :)

Moviee

List of characters: (don't judge!)

Women:
A girlfriend abused by her boyfriend.
A girl who becomes pregnant.
A ballet dancer.
A girl pressured into drugs.
A girl pressuring said girl into drugs.

Men:
A boy who comes out of the closet.
A boy who is gay-boy's best friend.
The boyfriend who abuses his girlfriend.
The boy who gets a girl pregnant.

Now, if you choose to do one, I'll send you an in depth analysis of their character. None of these guys are very ... fun to portray. You will not all be filming at the same time, the people are in pairs, or by themselves. I can film each segment in about a day, although the abuse one might take two.

Oh, in the end, they all die. But the only one's you see dead is the abuse girl, and the pregnant girl. The rest symbolically die.
And only sign for the ballerina if you are very good. She doesn't have any lines, she's just a symbol.

OKAY.
Sign up, peopless.

Forever and ever :)


...

SORRY!


I love you. All of you. I swear. I'M SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN POSTING.

'Specially you, CeeHearts. Tallie. :)
HERE WE ARE. THE GORGEOUS BLOG CREW. EXCLUDING ASHLEYY, CUZ SHE FAILS LIKE THAT.
Crappp quality. Because I stole it via e-mail, from my daddy. I have a few more, but they're similar to everyone elses. So, I don't think I need to do anything with them, like send them to Tallie.

So, what is up, homeslices? Not much? Me neither.
I mean, seven freaking days of school left. SEVEN DAYS. How the beep did that happen?
It's slightly nauseating.
I need ACTORS.
FOR MY MOVIE.
It's just going to be an artistic indepentant film, so no, you don't get paid.
And it will probably never become seen by most people.
We'll see what we can do with it though.
It's highly inapropriate.
By the way.
I need five girls and four boys to be the main people. And one of the girls has to be a semi-good ballet dancer.
And two of the boys have to be gay, or pretend to be, at least :)
It'll be harder to get the boys than the girls, although I think I've got one already. He doesn't know it yet, but he was in Tallie's and my canterbury movie, so he should be fine with it.
Um, I'm going to type up the movie right now. If you're interestedd, I'll send it to you.
It doesn't have a script, I don't work like that.
Just a plot. A plot plot plot.
OH.
The theme?
You want the theme?
Well, it's two things. It's potraying some of the things that happen to people our age, and I also want to show how damaged, broken beauty is more beautiful than purity, and how people can forget themselves, and their souls.
Mwahaha.
It'll make sense after.

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